I’m so sleepy but I can’t stop watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force and go to bed.
I said I was gonna take some time off after that last show I did and sit home and watch some digital cable and nurture my inner martyr, one of my favorite pastimes. But then Vali asked me to be on the writing team for the next show, which is an original piece called faith/doubt. The eccentric folks over at the Vanderbilt Divinity School started thinking about, you know, how people always equate faith with organized religion, which of course isn’t entirely accurate, and so they got a grant and started working on an oral history kind of… thing… I don’t know how to describe it exactly. They’ve been interviewing people for two years and now we’re taking all the stories and putting them into show format. So, you know, some monologues, some scenes, some choreography, some music. It’s a play. You know how it works. So I’ve been doing a lot of writing. And then I think I’m gonna get my act on again for it. It opens July 21. If you want details you can go to www.actorsbridge.org.
Let me pause here and ask if you’ve seen these Burger King commercials wherein the singer is trying to get as close to saying “big fucking chicken” without actually saying the f word? I’m glad to see 14 year olds finding work in this difficult economy. And you kids stay off my lawn! Back to me.
I interviewed my dad for the show. In the piece I ended up writing up for the show using the interview, I mentioned that when I was growing up, I never felt like my dad was ever really interested in anything I had to say and talking to him has always made me nervous. Like trying to impress someone in a job interview. It’s true. I mean I’m not trying to be all “j’accuse!” in front of an audience here and it will all be totally anonymous, no one will know it’s him, but I thought it was important to the piece so I put it in there. And because my folks will probably be coming to see the show, I sent my dad the bit today because, you know, if your daughter is going to reveal to you that she thinks you don’t particularly like her all that much, you probably don’t want to be blindsided by that in a play. My dad’s response was this:
Rachel, I did get your composition. It was well written and accurately portrayed, and I was/am not offended; just don’t expect any inheritance.
Initial response: relief. Then ha-ha. Then, wait, is he saying that I’m accurate in saying that he really isn’t interested in what I have to say? No. No, that’s paranoia. Paranoia bad. Just… but is he?
You know I pity parents. I really do. It’s got to be the hardest, scariest thing you could ever do. And sometimes I’m so relieved I don’t have anyone in my life to completely ruin. You just have to be so careful with kids because they remember stuff at 33 that you say to them when they were six. My parents have their issues, I guess all parents do. Every mother’s day I just thank my mom for not drowning us in the bathtub when we were kids and blaming it on post partum depression, and my dad for not going out for cigarettes and never coming back. I guess when you get right down to it, it’s the big things that matter most.
