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Do you remember the books you used in elementary school to learn to read? Here are mine:

I started kindergarten in 1976 and in MY day, the school told parents not to teach their kids to read before starting school, because they had to follow the curriculum of teaching us the alphabet and if we could already read, we would be bored. So. My first day of school I informed my mother I was not going back because they didn’t teach me to read. I mean my body was READY. (that’s a gross reference to 5 year old me.) Anyway, for some reason, one day A Duck is a Duck popped into my head and then Helicopters and Gingerbread and I thought for some reason that I would really like to see these books again. So I went to Amazon and lo and behold, someone was actually selling them there. So I bought them. Because I live in America and I could.

WHOO BOY they are 70s-riffic, y’all. These books were originally published around 1969 and then re-copyrighted in ’73 and ’76. So YOU know what’s up in here.


I found a section in One to Grow On about the Wave of the Future. Something called, “computers.” Have you heard of these things? Behold 1976:
My brothers both had shirts like this.

 

 

Jesus. It looks like a cup is going to come down and start filling up with cappuccino. It’s like the computers in Desk Set. Which is terrific, by the way. You should watch it.

 

 

The TeleTypewriter. In a delightful olive green. This is the color of my every house I ever entered 1972 through 1980. Welcome. Come on in. Do you like pina coladas?

 

 

Dear Future, I hope these “computers” in the future do not develop to such a point that there are lots of video games that will paralyze my common sense with the mind-blowing juxtaposition of fun and utter dysfunction.

 

 

Oi! You kids! Don’t sit on the shelves in the library! Stupid kids… god I can’t wait…. 5 more years and I’ve got enough to retire…

 

 

I used to have a purple dress just like this. My mom made it for me. Including the rickrack around the bottom. This photo was taken before the “homerow keys” position was discovered.

 
These books are geared toward kids in the first and second or third grades, tops. Interestingly, I found this in the back of one of them:

Don’t do it, Robin McNamara. You’re only in third grade. This kid has been held back so many times he drives himself to school. He smokes cigarettes. He’ll tell you he loves you, talk you into drinking the half empty bottle of Tanqueray he found in the bushes and then knock you up in between stays at juvie. Stick with the cello lessons, Robin. You have so much to live for.

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